In my newest Exterior column, I try and make sense of aggressive garvel racing:
Sure it’s behind a “paywall,” sure it would ultimately not be behind a paywall, no I don’t care in case you’re aggravated that it’s behind a paywall, and no I don’t achieve truly making any sense out of aggressive garvel racing–and neither do the racers themselves, apparently:
Jeez. Both you’re thirsty otherwise you’re not. Is that this a motorcycle race or an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm?”
Talking of garvel, I’ve determined that garvel bieks are at the moment probably the most boring type of bicycle. I imply they’ve solely been a factor for lower than 10 years and there are already so many indistinguishable variations on the identical sleep-inducing them that no one can inform them aside anymore. So now they only lump all of them collectively and name all of them the “greatest:”
There actually shouldn’t be 28 iterations of any sort of bicycle. Provide you with one thing else, for chrissakes! Even Cipollini himself has gotten in on it:
I imply in case you’re going to purchase a garvel biek why on earth would you purchase it from Cipollini of all individuals? That’s like ordering pasta at a diner. Anyway, everybody is aware of Cipollini would by no means go anyplace close to garvel as it will follow his oily torso:
And I don’t even wish to know the way the “MyCipo personalised paint program” works.
Additionally, make certain to not confuse one of the best garvel bieks with the greatest cyclocross bikes, as a result of they’re TOTALLY DIFFERENT:
See, garvel bieks have longer high tubes and shorter wheelbases. Or perhaps cyclocross bikes have shorter wheelbases and steeper head and seat tube angles. Or perhaps one or the opposite has kind of path. No, wait, it’s the underside bracket peak. Or one thing. I dunno, can we discuss one thing else?
Okay. One thing else? Like what?
One thing utterly completely different from garvel bieks and cyclocross bikes–like endurance highway bikes!
In contrast to garvel and cyclocross bikes, that are quick drop-bar bikes that may deal with a wide range of terrain, endurance highway bikes are quick drop-bar bikes that may deal with a wide range of terrain:
Aw, fuck it, I’m shopping for a Rivendell.